Things that Kill Intimacy:

westonadminRachel’s List

Maintaining a relationship is a difficult thing to do, especially when you need to try to speak openly about potentially uncomfortable subjects. 

One of the parts of a relationship that goes downhill quickly when communication is challenging is intimacy. After working with couples for over 26 years, I have found that those conversations are often easier than expected. The fear of talking about things that are highly personal and possibly embarrassing grows over time until the conversation feels impossible, and then never happens. It often helps to have a therapist present to guide that conversation comfortably. It also helps to confer with a therapist before having that conversation privately with your partner in order to learn ways to build in some safeguards and rules so everyone feels as safe as possible. Here are the top 5 issues I come across with my clients that interfere with intimacy- 

Rachel’s List of 5

Things that Kill Intimacy:

1. Not being able to communicate comfortably and smoothly with your partner about most subjects, so you definitely don’t risk talking about something sensitive like intimacy.

2. Not feeling safe to say what you really wish for and fantasize about for fear of judgment, laughter or pushing your partner away.

3. Having just one partner invested in making things better.

4. Going outside of the relationship to get your needs met.

5. Dealing with cultural and religious differences that shift each of your positions on intimacy and define what you feel is right or wrong, acceptable or deviant.

If you’re dealing with any of these intimacy killing issues, give me a call at 818-907-0036, or go to my website at