Things People in Abusive Relationship Need to Remember

westonadminRachel’s List

I have been working with people for over 25 years who have been in abusive relationships.

The abuse my clients dealt with most often took place within their families of origin, with their partners or spouses, as well as in highly controlled religious communities and abusive work environments. While many of my clients were finally able to break free, there were a number of facts they needed to hold onto, or remind themselves of, in order to be clear enough emotionally that what they were experiencing was abuse, that it was wrong, and that they had the right to be upset about it and to do something to protect themselves.

Rachel’s List of 5

Things People in Abusive Relationship Need to Remember:

  1. They have the same basic human rights as their abuser/controller.
  2. They have a voice, they have the right to use it, and if they can’t safely speak up to their abuser, they can tell others who can help about what is really happening to them behind closed doors.
  3. There are people outside that relationship who care about them even if they have been told that’s no longer true.  
  4. They are worthy of love, safety, respect, happiness, and a better life, even if they were told the opposite by their abuser.
  5. They do not deserve to be mistreated. They did not do anything to cause their abuse. It is not their fault.

It is very difficult to break away from an abusive situation…harder than people realize. If you are in an abusive situation, or want to try to help someone who is stuck in an abusive situation, contact me at 818-907-0036, or through my website at